Bill Dundee, Jeff Jarrett & Jimmy Valiant vs. Robert Fuller, Jimmy Golden & Tommy Rich - AWA - September 17th, 1988

 I was having myself a shave and thinking about all the regular life crap that I have to do tomorrow, going to work as a simple example, and I was having a hard time being very confident about any of it.  You know, you have yourself, which is the active you; the person who goes and talks to people and is the physical embodiment of your being but then there's also your perception, which is what shapes you.  I think anyone that can actually write the last couple of sentences I've written probably is starting out with a disadvantage. 

Not Pictured:  His normally enormous beard.

So there I was thinking to myself how am I going to get through this next day and kind of feeling as though I wasn't all that great of a person.  It's safe now to ask, what does this have to do with wrestling?  On the surface this seems maybe a bit more suited for some personal introspection or maybe a therapist or something, but I find when I feel down I turn to the Boogie Woogie Man.

This past Monday was Jimmy Valiant's birthday and I thought that it would only be fitting if I worked him in to my mini-project here.  There are some guys who just are exactly what they are.  In Buddhism, it would essentially be zen.  A state of being without thought to being.  Just doing what you do.  That's truly mastering yourself as a person.  And if you get "Come to Papa" tattooed across your stomach, I would guess you don't give a fuck about the perceptions of others. 

 On one side of the ring you have the Stud Stable consisting of Robert Fuller, Jimmy Golden and Tommy Rich along with Downtown Bruno and Miss Silvia.  If you were in a psych class or something, you might think of them as society.  Vain and judgemental.  On the other side is the Superstar Bill Dundee, a short Australian, Jeff Jarrett, with his bleached hair and of course, Jimmy Valiant.  Jarrett may seem sort of the odd man out, but under the tutelage of a Jimmy Valiant you're bound to hear a few jail stories and maybe some of it might get through to Jeff and he can give him a prison tattoo using some magnets and a guitar string.

Big Mama's Flowers

 Valiant is wearing his "Big Mamma's Flowers" shirt and clapping and stomping even though there is no music to be heard, but he knows there's music somewhere and maybe he can get something started.  Unfortunately, the match starts instead.  Jarrett is in there going move for move with Fuller until Golden comes in to break up a post-suplex pin.  Jarrett outsmarts them both and then cleans house with some dropkicks.  Boogie Woogie comes in for some celebratory butt bumps with his team.

Bring 'em back!

Fuller gets Dundee into the corner after the tag and throws some really cool looking punches before making the tag to Tommy Rich.  Dundee is in control with a lot of hip tosses and bodyslams before Rich cheats and pulls him by his hair to the other corner.  Dundee's too crafty to get caught up and scurries between Rich's legs for the hot tag to Valiant.  Valiant's version of a hot tag is a bit different than your average wrestler.  He picks up the ref and throws him down, proceeds to the other corner and hip thrusts at the two men on the outside, hip thrusts for an additional 30 seconds at the man who was already in the ring (and assumedly waiting to be punched in the face still) before finally blocking three punches and starting his big offensive push.  Jimmy gets whipped into the ropes, stomps the fingers of Downtown Bruno trying to cheat and then slides outside to make out with Miss Silvia.  THAT is how you make a comeback.

Valiant has long found a loophole in the law that after 15 sexual assaults you can no longer be charged.  MERCY!

 Verne Gagne on commentary speculates that if he were a beautiful lady he may not like to be kissed by Valiant.  If we were a more diverse community, this might have launched a thousand fanfics.  Valiant puts in all the offense he knows, the noggin knocker and punches before bringing Jarrett back in.  Tommy Rich hits a low blow and Jarrett's in trouble.  Golden comes in and gets suplexed.  Everybody comes in Jarrett gets a sleeper hold on Golden, Dundee puts the figure four on Fuller and in the corner Valiant is applying his submission finisher, a 3 minute eye rake on Rich.  The rest of the Stud Stable come in and it's a DQ win for Valiant and company.  Brickhouse Brown comes out to help and it's a party, just like Valiant loves.  Of course, after a party you have to clean house, and out goes the Stud Stable. 

I don't think too many wrestling enthusiasts would praise Valiant for his wrestling skill, but the man was what he was.  Even if you hated him, you couldn't ask for a more entertaining guy to stand on the outside for a tag match.  When you think too much about life, you start wondering why you're in it.  When you thrust your crotch at anyone and everyone, you remove all doubt.  Life's questions will answer themselves when you never stop hearing the music.  And Boogie Woogie Jimmy Valiant will just keep dancing until a party starts.

Thrust until you're finally free.

King of Trios 2011 - The BDK vs. the Colony

Anyone with an affinity for Independent Wrestling has probably seen last year's King of Trios by now.  It was shortly preceded by the death of Larry Sweney, and going in with that dark cloud hanging over it could've very well been a throwaway show and it would be understandable.  Instead, it was a phenomenal show.  The show was released the day after the event was over, and the huge buzz from the live crowd made it the best selling show in CHIKARA history.

It was also the birth of one of my favourite feuds, and for my money the best feud of the last year.  

 At the 2010 King of Trios, through nefarious means, the BDK (Then Claudio Castignoli, Ares and Tursas) defeated the Colony in the finals.  The Ants were out for revenge and they met a new BDK trio of Tim Donst, Jakob Hammermeier and Delirious (with Tursas on the outside). 

The BDK try to get the jump but get tossed to the side, Jakob is left behind to start a circle of clubberin' that everyone gets a ride on before it's over.

After they bail to the outside, the Colony follows up with an Ant-apault sending Fire Ant soaring after them.  Donst hits an STO on the inside to put the BDK back in the driver's seat.  In a tender moment, Donst teaches Jakob how to execute a suplex.  After moderate success with wrestling, Jakob gets back to his forte; choking FIre Ant first with his hands, then his vest and finally his tie.

Fire Ant turns things around in the corner and rolls out(exiting the ring is a tag in CHIKARA) bringing in Soldier Ant for a flying headbutt into the corner, followed by a dive to the outside on Delirious.  Back inside Donst gets cocky with a vertical suplex and Green Ant counters into a small package.  Green Ant then ducks a clotheline and rolls through into his Texas Cloverleaf, but it's broken up.

They have the requisite elbow for elbow spot, with the hilarious addition of Jakob trying to throw elbows like everybody else, but continually being blocked by Fire Ant each time.  The heels get the upper-hand and are about to hit the BDK finisher, the Ragnarok, but Fire Ant gets saved and it's countered into a double stunner.

With only Jakob left they hit the Ant Hill, but Donst makes the save at the last second.  Donst hits is Death Valley Driver, the Donstitution, for 2.  Fire Ant hits a top rope fireman's carry, Soldier Ant attempts the Saluting Flying Headbutt but misses followed by a HUGE flying splash from Delirious onto Soldier which clears the ring for Green Ant and Jakob.

The ref is distracted by Donst grabbing a chair, leading to Tursas coming in attempting to hit the big flying crossbody, which has been death for anybody hit with it, on a restrained Green Ant.  Ant ducks out of the way and it nails Jakob.  Then, harkening back to Yokozuna and Lex Luger on the USS Intrepid, Green Ant picks up the enormous Tursas and slams him!  This blew the roof off of the Arena.  Then, he hoists Jakob up in the rack for the submission win.  This put the Colony through to the semi-finals.

What's wonderful about CHIKARA is that they're not afraid to reach to the past, with the knowledge that a lot of their fans have been fans this entire time, and there's some strings to tug at their heart from in those memories.  Despite the goofy theatris of a slam on a US Airplane Carrier, the nonsensical patriotism (a staple not just of the Lex Express, but many Pro Wrestling angles), and the fresh-tapped-from-the-National-Parks-of-America-and-from-a-red-white-and-bluewood-tree sap that was the theme song, every kid loved it.  And CHIKARA took all of that, the slam, the patriotism (Tursas being from Norway), the theme song and yes, even the bus and made it something new. 

It wasn't just meaningless nostalgia though, it really gave Green Ant a chance to come into his own.  Through the Flex Express videos he cut some fun promos about traveling anonymous towns on his way to finally put down Tursas.  And the two singles matches he had with Tursas, especially given that both have had only a few years of experience between them, were phenomenal matches.  He is equal parts BattlARTS and Road Warrior in his style.  He can do the strength spots, as evidenced in this match but he has a slick grappling game as seen in his matches with Quackenbush. 

This match, and the subsequent Tursas matches are the best thing in wrestling for 2011.  For reference, they are at CHIKARAsaurus Rex: Night 1 and the High Noon iPPV.  Check them out and start digging CHIKARA!