Saturday, April 23, 2011

Fuck it, I love it

I really wanted to post about Larry Sweeney, but I thought something as simple as "RIP Larry Sweeney" would be insincere in a facebook post. The truth is, he was part of the reason I fell back in love with wrestling.

When I heard that, during our second trip to Anime North, both Jyushin Thunder Lyger and Ultimo Dragon were going to be wrestling the next town over, I basically grabbed the wheel of the ship and veered our nerdfest right over to the converted church in Mississauga for UWA Hardcore Wrestling. There was no way I wasn't going to see these guys wrestle. I have several boxes worth of VHS tapes littered with their matches which were all watched in Mountain Dew fueled (little known fact, Canadians, it's actually fuel in the US) Puroresu sessions. So whether they liked it or not, they were going to learn to love them, because it was where we were going that day.

I had a cursory knowledge of the independent wrestling scene so I saw some guys that I knew, such as Claudio Castagnoli. But for the most part I was pretty out of my element. There were some good matches, there were some ok matches. They had a little Japanese salsa dancer come out and I thought "Ok, this guy looks pretty entertaining". And then "More, More, More" by the Andrea True Connection started playing and out walked this bleached-blonde guy with pink and purple boas and I knew this was going to be entertaining.

After some textbook back and forth grappling, that pastel coloured man took the mic and demanded that this match be settled by a STRUT OFF.


MACHINE GUNNED HIM DOWN.

This guy's charisma was incredible. This guy was Larry Sweeney. Later, he was out by the merchandise table selling everyone his shirts. I had no idea what "12 Large, Brother!" meant, but that was his catchphrase at the time. I wanted to relate this story as Mike Quackenbush, his trainer and friend, told as to the origin of that phrase.

Apparently on an indy show, Sweeney was out there hawking his wares with former WWF Superstar The Patriot. Go ahead and Wikipedia, it won't take long. Anyway, after the night was over and they were back in the locker room, Larry asked him how much he made.

"I'm up Twelve Large, brother!" He said with a smile. He had made 12 bucks off of merchandise.

Sweeney made a lot more than that in that church hall. He was cutting promos on everyone who went by and most left with a lighter wallet. He had a knack for this business that, if it were 30 years ago, he'd be a top flight manager. He was that good, and if you ask around, everybody knew it. But there are no managers today. Sadly, there is no Larry Sweeney brightening up the scene either.

He was also bi-polar. It's amazing to think that a guy who, anytime you put a camera on him, or a crowd in front of him would light up, could also have a side to him that would eventually have him take his own life. His energy and his hijinx were the reason I kept popping in on YouTube and reacquainting myself with wrestling. Not the glossy, overcrowded arena rock WWE, but the roots of wrestling. The fun side, the interactive side. I remember thinking just a few weeks ago, how great it would be to see Sweeney on my next trip up to Toronto.

In a better wrestling world, Larry Sweeney would've been making good money with the WWE, getting a bunch of those big oafs with no mic skills over as monsters. I don't think the WWE is bad, but it's not as good as it could've been with Larry Sweeney.

I'm going to leave some clips here, and I think they say a lot more than I could about how great he was.





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